


Recognition

by dragons_SRSunn



Series: Insights [7]
Category: Warriors - Erin Hunter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-25
Updated: 2021-01-25
Packaged: 2021-03-13 14:42:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,602
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28530135
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dragons_SRSunn/pseuds/dragons_SRSunn
Summary: Jayfeather encounters Lightpaw at the border.
Series: Insights [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1877074
Comments: 2
Kudos: 16





	Recognition

**Author's Note:**

> This was really written by a friend who was too shy to get her own account.
> 
> This is sort of a sequel to another fanfiction I wrote, [Recriminations](https://archiveofourown.org/works/25697674).

Jayfeather sniffed his way through the underbrush. He was in a bad mood. He knew, because Leafpool, Lionblaze, and Squirrelflight had all told him so. Like none of _them_ had ever been in bad moods before. All right, maybe not Leafpool, but he remembered one time when he and Lionblaze were apprentices-

He walked into a bush.

"For StarClan's sake!" he growled, dropping the herbs he'd found so far and wrenching his fur out of the bush.

He realized he was near the ShadowClan border. Wonderful.

He'd been by the ShadowClan border yesterday too. He'd gone along with a patrol consisting of Birchfall, Berrynose, and Leafshade to look for herbs, just like he was doing now, except without the patrol. It seemed that they used up herbs as fast as he could find them. Would it kill the Clan to watch their paws a bit and not step on every thorn in the forest?

They had met up with a ShadowClan patrol.

 _She_ had been on it, just walking along without a care in the world, as though she'd been ShadowClan since her birth.

While Dovewing and Birchfall had excitedly greeted each other, she hadn't even noticed the rest of the patrol, let alone Jayfeather. She didn't care about ThunderClan at all now, except maybe her close kin. She couldn't even be bothered to ask about him, never mind that he'd been right there, probably hadn't even noticed that his scent was nearby...

(And he hadn't been _hiding behind a bush_ , he'd been _looking for chervil_. How many times did he have to tell Berrynose that?)

Jayfeather gritted his teeth and wrenched some juniper berries off the bush he'd bumped into(every cloud has a silver lining, as Leafpool used to say; he'd always resisted the urge to ask why the whole cloud couldn't be silver then) with his teeth, biting far harder than necessary.

Jayfeather stiffened. Almost as if his thoughts had summoned her, he smelled a half-familiar scent, suffused with ShadowClan scent, but he knew it nonetheless.

"Dovewing?" he asked, readying himself to give her a piece of his mind.

"Um," a voice that was definitely not Dovewing's said.

Jayfeather's fur stood on end. "You're not Dovewing," he meowed, telling himself he wasn't disappointed.

"Um. No," the voice agreed.

"You're one of her kits," Jayfeather realized. He'd met Shadowpaw-that apprentice was _wa_ _y_ too enthusiastic about everything-and this wasn't him, so that meant this was either..."Lightpaw or Pouncepaw?"

"Lightpaw." He heard leaves rustle as she presumably slid out from a bush. "You're Jayfeather, right?"

"What are you doing on ThunderClan territory?" Jayfeather asked, ignoring the question. If she knew who he was why did she bother asking? Besides, she was trespassing. Half ThunderClan or not, she was ShadowClan now. Dovewing had made her choice, and it extended to her kits as well.

"I'm not," Lightpaw informed him. "I'm right by the border, but I'm not over it."

Jayfeather sniffed. "You are half a tail-length over the border."

"No, I'm not," Lightpaw protested. "And how do you know that anyway?"

"Do you not know how to smell borders?"

Lightpaw hissed. "Of _course_ I know how to smell borders!"

Jayfeather put down his herb bundle and took a few steps forward until he was standing exactly on the border. "You smell the scent on this side? Like oak trees? That is ThunderClan scent, and I would expect an apprentice of your age to know that by now, even though your mother probably doesn't smell of it anymore-"

"She does, a little," Lightpaw offered. "And I knew what ThunderClan scent smelled like even before I was apprenticed. Me and my littermates and Dovewing came to ThunderClan once, remember?"

Yes, Jayfeather remembered.

"And _this_ -" he waved his tail in the general direction of ShadowClan territory-"is what ShadowClan scent smells like. That's your territory, where you belong-" He winced.

"I _know_ what my own Clan smells like," Lightpaw muttered. "I'm not dumb."

"So stay on your side," Jayfeather grunted.

Lightpaw hmmphed. But she took a few pawsteps back. "You didn't answer my question."

"Which question?"

"How did you know I was over the border? I was only a little bit over it, and I can-" She stopped, suddenly, leaving an empty silence hanging in the air.

Jayfeather sighed. "And you can see, and I can't."

"Well, yeah," Lightpaw said, sounding relieved that he wasn't mortally insulted or anything. He'd heard this question too many times to be, and to be fair, it was a valid question. "How do you find your way around if you can't see?"

Jayfeather pushed away the memory of another apprentice asking him how he got around if he couldn't see. "I can smell and hear as well as any other cat. Better, even."

"Like Dovewing could?" Lightpaw asked.

Jayfeather stiffened. "You know about that?"

"She told us," Lightpaw explained. "That she used to be able to hear, like, everywhere, and she used her power to help win against the Dark Forest, 'cuz she knew where they were and could listen to them and stuff, but she lost her power after the Great Battle. You also had powers, right? You could tell what cats were feeling without them saying anything and you could go in their dreams, right? And your brother could win any fight, right?"

"Yes," Jayfeather meowed quietly. So Dovewing had not broken with tradition so much that she wouldn't tell her kits Clan stories-although, considering she had lived through this, and the part she had played, it made sense that she would tell them about it, and the other two members of the Three( _Dovewing had told her kits about him!_ ). Besides, ShadowClan most likely had their own version of the Great Battle and the events leading up to it, probably making ShadowClan look like they'd saved the day in the process. He snorted.

"What was it like?" Lightpaw asked, interrupting his train of thought.

"What was _what_ like?"

"You know. Having cool powers."

So she thought they were "cool", did she? Perhaps they had been, but he hadn't known anything else, and without them the Clans would have been lost to the Place of No Stars, and then they were gone-

"Ask your mother," he meowed tightly.

"But she already told us what it was like to have _her_ powers," Lightpaw protested. "I don't know anybody else who had cool powers. I want to know what other ones are like."

Jayfeather hissed. He'd dealt with way too many eager apprentices, fresh from hearing a story from the elders, who wanted to hear all about his "cool powers." He didn't see why _this_ apprentice should be any different, especially considering that she was luckier than most the other apprentices in that one of her parents was(had been)part of the Three. "Ask your mother," he repeated.

"Fine," Lightpaw sighed, and then, quieter, as though she thought he couldn't hear her,"No wonder Dovewing got into an argument with you."

" _What?"_ Jayfeather hissed.

"At the Gathering." Lightpaw's voice was louder, but also somewhat nervous( _Good!_ he thought.). "You and Dovewing had an argument. I saw. She didn't want to talk about it but now I figure if you're always like this you must argue with everyone."

Jayfeather sputtered,"If _I'm_ always like this-did you hear what we argued about?" 

"No. I wasn't close enough. I just saw you and her arguing, and you looked angry, and then _she_ looked angry, and then she came back to the rest of us and didn't talk to anyone and then the next day she went on a walk." She said that last part matter-of-factly, like Dovewing going on a walk meant something.

Jayfeather took a deep breath and counted to three in his head before replying. (See, he could control his temper like [Hollyleaf] everyone had always told him to do.) "What do you mean, she went on a walk?"

"She...went on a walk." Lightpaw sounded puzzled. "I don't know how else to say it."

"Where did she go? Here?" If Dovewing had been trespassing-

"I don't know. She goes on lots of walks. Sometimes she goes near ThunderClan territory, I think. Sometimes she just wanders around ShadowClan territory or even outside Clan territory. She seems sad when she goes on her walks. Tigerstar says we should leave her alone and let her think when she does that, but I think we would make her feel better so sometimes me and Pouncepaw and Shadowpaw talk to her, and we _do_ make her feel better. Sometimes after one of her walks she talks to Tawnypelt or Cinnamonpaw and that seems to make her feel better too." 

Jayfeather blinked, digesting what Lightpaw had said. She talked fast.

So Dovewing wasn't completely at home in ShadowClan. To his surprise, he didn't feel satisfied, although he'd told himself often enough over the past few moons that Dovewing quite obviously didn't need him or any of ThunderClan anymore anyway and that she was making a new life for herself in ShadowClan and probably didn't even bother wondering how they were or missing any of them. Except apparently, that wasn't the case.

(He hoped she was all right.)

"What were you arguing about anyway?" Lightpaw wanted to know.

"StarClan save me from annoying apprentices!"Jayfeather snapped."Shouldn't your mentor be teaching you how to hunt or something? Why are you even here?"

"I _do_ know how to hunt!" Lightpaw told him with a fierceness reminiscent of her mother when she was angry. "I caught a mouse this morning all by myself! Mouse is my favorite food, you know. My mentor was so pleased with me he said I could have some time off to do what I want. Pouncepaw was with the patrol by the RiverClan border, Cloverfoot said, and Shadowpaw was busy helping Puddleshine, so I decided to explore. _That's_ what I'm doing here. Why, are ThunderClan cats not allowed to explore? Dovewing's even told me plenty of stories about ThunderClan cats going on _other_ cats' territory, and I'm not. Anymore, anyway. That was an accident."

"You talk too much," Jayfeather decided. 

"That's what my mentor says," Lightpaw told him, sounding pleased for some odd reason.

"Who's your mentor anyway?" Jayfeather asked, not that he cared or anything.

"Stonewing."

"And who are your littermates' mentors?"

"Well," Lightpaw answered,"Shadowpaw's training to be a medicine cat with Puddleshine-"

"I _know_ that," Jayfeather muttered, mentally scolding himself for his lapse.

"-And Pouncepaw's mentor is Snowbird. Why, do you know them?"

Jayfeather didn't know Stonewing well, but hadn't he mentored Juniperclaw? _That ended well._ And Snowbird, wasn't she the queen who Violetshine had helped to escape the Kin with her kits?

"Are they good mentors?" Jayfeather asked.

"Yes!" Lightpaw told him, and he could imagine her tail standing up in excitement. "I caught a mouse today!"

"You told me," Jayfeather noted drily.

"Why did you want to know?" Lightpaw asked.

"Never mind," Jayfeather muttered.

Why _did_ he want to know? Of course Dovewing and her kits would be treated well in ShadowClan. Tigerstar was Dovewing's mate. Even if she wasn't treated well, what was he going to do, walk into ShadowClan and give Tigerstar a piece of his mind?

Actually, he would enjoy doing that.

"No, but really," Lightpaw said, suddenly reverting back to her earlier topic of conversation like young cats often did as though they expected him to magically know what they were thinking _and he couldn't do that anymore_ -"What were you arguing about? You made her sad. You should really be nicer to her, you know."

Jayfeather nearly choked. " _I_ should be nicer to her?!"

"What did she do to you anyway?" Lightpaw asked oh so innocently.

"What did she _do_ -"

For a moment, Jayfeather couldn't breathe.

He remembered the day Dovewing had disappeared, the casual interest turning to concern turning to worry, the patrols that had been sent out the next day, the rumors he and Lionblaze and Ivypool all denied. He remembered how Ivypool had desperately led as many search patrols as she could handle, until she nearly collapsed from exhaustion.

He remembered sleepless nights.

He remembered hearing Birchfall leave the warrior's den, night after night, and pace back and forth across the camp, over and over, until one day he felt a groove, worn by a desperate father's claws, in the earth.

He remembered Whitewing wasting away from the belly sickness, close to death, Birchfall pacing again, Whitewing withering, fading, nearly dying, having nearly lost her will to live with the disappearance of her daughter.

He remembered the terrible fear he had had in the back of his mind, that the Dark Forest had somehow taken Dovewing in one last act of vengeance.

He remembered how Lionblaze had taken to stopping in to the medicine den, the nursery, the leader's den, and the warrior's den each night before finally settling into his nest and each morning before going on patrol-he'd started taking much more than his fair share of dawn patrols, as if he either wasn't sleeping well, or wanted to be kept busy, or both-as if making sure that no more of his loved ones had disappeared.

He remembered the Gathering when Tigerheart's- _no, he's Tiger_ star _now-_ disappearance had been announced, how he had dug his claws into the earth, thinking, _She wouldn't. She wouldn't.;_ hearing Lionblaze growl softly from nearby, how Leafpool had brushed his side with her tail and whispered something to herself(and he knew what she was thinking about), hearing the whispers start up among the other Clans, and even(especially) his own.

He remembered how Ivyool had just sort of faded into herself over the next few days.

He remembered how Lionblaze had taken to wandering into the medicine den as if by accident and just being there, the two of them sitting together in an almost comfortable silence, occasionally talking about anything except what they were both thinking about.

He remembered overhearing Ivypool confess to Leafpool that she had been _this close_ to leaving Clan territory and trying to find Dovewing herself, and the only thing that had stopped her was when Leafpool had told her she was expecting kits.

He remembered Bumblestripe sitting at the edge of the fresh-kill pile, not eating, not speaking, just sitting there unmoving until Blossomfall coaxed him to go to his nest.

He remembered Ivypool's kitting. It had been a hard birth, and not just because the kits were born early. Ivypool's longing for her sister had sapped her physical energy and health, like Whitewing; Leafpool and Alderheart had both been at the Gathering, so he'd been the only medicine cat there to help, but he'd given Briarlight the sickness in the process(don't think about that).

All queens cried out during kitting. And not just wordless cries. Many a queen cried out for StarClan, or her mother, or her mate. Or all three.

Ivypool had cried out for her sister. "Dovewing!" She'd wailed her sister's name to the stars. "Dovewing!"

And then Dovewing had returned, just walked right into camp with her three kits-her three _halfClan_ kits, and he knew the burden they would bear-and stayed barely long enough for all of them to see that she was alive and well, and then walked right back out of camp to ShadowClan like it had always been a given she would be a ShadowClan now, and left them to pick up the pieces.

And now this kit of hers, this not-even-seven-moons-old-yet apprentice who barely knew one side of the border from the other had the nerve to ask her _what she had done_?

He realized he was shaking.

"Hey," Lightpaw broke into his thoughts. "Hey, you're ruining your berries."

Jayfeather hissed softly. Without noticing, he had unsheathed his claws and were digging them into the ground, indiscriminately squashing his juniper berries in the process. With a snarl he picked up the rest of his herb bundle, digging his teeth into it, and turned to walk away into the forest.

Lightpaw gasped.

Jayfeather dropped his herb bundle and turned back to face her. "What _now_?"

"Nothing." Lightpaw sounded nervous again-he wondered what the expression on his face looked like. "Just, when you turned, the way the light hit your face, you looked like someone."

Jayfeather sighed. "Who do you think I look like?"

"I don't know. But you look familiar. You wouldn't have any kin in the guardian cats, would you? What about ShadowClan?"

" _No_ ," Jayfeather said. Tigerstar and his kin weren't his kin anymore like he'd once thought, and Dovewing barely counted, especially now that she'd abandoned her birth Clan and moved to ShadowClan. Besides, she didn't look like him anyway. "If you think I look like someone, shouldn't you know who I look like?"

"I don't think you look like someone I know," Lightpaw tried to explain, but she didn't do a very good job of it. "More like, someone who I only saw once or twice. So probably not someone in ShadowClan."

"My brother, Lionblaze, was at the last Gathering," Jayfeather pointed out, although he and Lionblaze looked nothing alike, and he didn't think Lionblaze had met Dovewing's kits-he would have said something to him if he had. Anyway, Lionblaze had spent much of the last Gathering talking to...

_Oh, no._

"I've got it!" Lightpaw cried triumphantly. "You look like the WindClan deputy, Crowfeather! You have the same eyes. I saw him at the Gathering. Are you kin?"

Jayfeather dug his claws into the earth(he felt like he'd been doing a lot of that lately). "Ask your mother," he hissed through gritted teeth.

"But-" Lightpaw started, and then abruptly broke off, apparently seeing something in his face(besides his unfortunate resemblance to Crowfeather) that made her tread no further into what was, unbeknownst to her, dangerous territory.

"So," Lightpaw said, in the tone of voice a cat has when he or she wants to change the topic away from an awkward part of the conversation yet doesn't know what to change it to. "Uh. Oh! Can you tell Ivypool Dovewing says hi? Whenever one of us goes near the ThunderClan border Dovewing tells us to tell Ivypool hi from her if we see her, and you're not Ivypool, but you can tell her hi from Dovewing, right?"

"Yes," Jayfeather said, just so the apprentice would give him two heartbeats of silence, and instantly regretted it. He knew how strong the bond between the two sisters was. Dovewing was sure to follow up on this, and if she found out that she hadn't passed on her message, both she and Ivypool would be mad at him. So now he was beholden to pass on this message. Wonderful.

After a short pause, Lightpaw began, "Before..."

"Before _what_? Finish your sentence."

"You didn't _let_ me finish," Lightpaw grumped. "Before, when I first saw you, you called me Dovewing."

There was a pause.

"Your point being?" Jayfeather prompted.

"I _mean_ ," she spoke as if it should have been obvious, "Why did you call me Dovewing? You thought I was her?"

" _Obviously_ ," Jayfeather snapped. "Would I call you Dovewing if I _didn't_ think you were her?"

"Well," Lightpaw said, "why _did_ you think I was her? Do I sound like her? I hadn't even said anything!"

"You smell like her," Jayfeather admitted. "A lot."

"Oh." To that scintillating comment Lightpaw added, "You say that like that's my fault, somehow."

Jayfeather hissed.

"You know-" Lightpaw suddenly sounded serious-"Dovewing tried, really."

Jayfeather tensed. "What do you mean, she tried?"

"Well," Lightpaw sounded nervous, but she plowed on. "When I was a kit, I remember my parents talking about which Clan we would go to when they thought me and my littermates weren't listening. It was really hard for both of them. They loved their Clan, but they loved each other and us too. And Dovewing wanted us to grow up knowing our father. She didn't want us to be raised in a different Clan-I heard her say once that she'd seen the outcome of that."

Despite himself, Jayfeather flinched.

"And she went to visit ThunderClan right when we came back," Lightpaw continued. "And she always goes on patrols by the ThunderClan border. She still loves ThunderClan, I know. But this was what she had to do. Tigerstar was ShadowClan's leader; he couldn't join another Clan. And besides, my brother's a medicine cat apprentice! You already have three medicine cats; if Dovewing had stayed in ThunderClan with us he would be the fourth! But in ShadowClan we just had Puddleshine, so he's Shadowpaw's mentor now. Dovewing did her best. Can't you..." She hesitated. "Can't you forgive her? She had to!"

Jayfeather gritted his teeth. He took a deep breath. 

Lightpaw...actually had some valid points.

What _would_ he and Leafpool and Alderheart have done with another medicine cat? The Clan didn't need another one; he'd be a burden, really, at least until one of the other medicine cats died.

And as much as he denied it to himself, he could see why Dovewing had chosen to join her mate's Clan...after seeing the example of what happened to halfClan kits raised in a different one.

He turned on his tail and stalked off into the trees, in the direction of the ThunderClan camp(he realized halfway there that he had forgotten the remnants of his herb bundle behind, but there was no way he was going back to get it).

But as he headed off into the woods, he called back over his shoulder, "Give your mother my regards."


End file.
